.” Lucille’s excuses were in tatters -- and they WERE excuses, she realized.“Was sex big with you when you were my age?” Kanye asked.Lucille frowned. “Maybe not. Motherhood kind of got in the way.”“Once I realized what I was missing -- thank you for that -- I did some research. Women are more focused on romance than sex early on -- they’re feathering the nest, as well as filling it.” He stepped forward and swept his arm out, quite naturally, to find her shoulder and slide his hand on up to rub her neck. “Sex is scary, and then it’s a way to go wild for a short time -- a period that ends in pregnancy. Then the whole thing backs off for a while. Over time, though, you learn to live with it. The kids are less and less trouble, and you have a steady guy -- or maybe you don’t but you go looking. Pregnancy isn’t scary and you start looking forward to the pleasure more and more.”“Sometimes, you just do without,” Lucille croaked.“That makes it all more urgent, too, doesn’t it?” Kanye said. The pictures with leather interested her. She loved the black clothing and its contrast with white skin. She still could not get into the adult bookstores to see this stuff for real. She had to wait another two years. But her imagination was fired. The feeling of control, of power, that she experienced by inflicting pain on guys desperate for sex filled her fantasy life. Ruth took full advantage of her teenage classmates’ desperation for sex. She made herself available to a lot of the guys who, for whatever reason, could not have anyone else. But there was always a cost. Sex was on Ruth’s terms, a few minutes of pleasure in exchange for a punishment. By this time she had collected some breadboards, bath brushes, and belts and knew how to use them to maximum effect. She knew how to dominate her lovers. More than anything else in her life she loved the sight of a 16- or 17-year old classmate on his knees, nervously looking up at her, waiting. ———- As a young teenager Ruth Burnside.
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